Deal all,
Enclosed is something called the Bird Dog Bulletin. As explanation to those who do not know, the term "bird-dogging" of "bird-doggery" refers to the fine art of hitting on another's significant other. Used in a (compound) sentence: "You best bird-dog in while the bird-dogging is good, friend; that man has intentions of marrying Josephine." That last sentence may or may not be a subtle Pacey on Dawson's Creek reference (Joshua Jackson is pretty much the patron saint of bird-doggery).
I used to direct this newsletter toward women in my branch who were currently dating someone as a means of: 1) Featuring a sweet lady I was laying the Mack-down on hardcore-like, 2) Expressing that I was better than their current boyfriend(s), 3) Subtly reminding women that their current boyfriend or fiance had key unnoticed flaws, and 4) Being generally braggy about my own accomplishments.
I have since retired from the fine art of hitting on other men's ladies, but I now offer my renewed and repurposed newsletter as a means of transferring skills and tips learned in my years of dating experience. Also, there's still a lot of (well-earned) bragging. For those on this list currently married or engaged, feel free to forward this to your friends or relatives who would have more use for my dating talents.
Much Love,
David Coats
PS Please don't mention to Josh Chavis that I used his muscular likeness. He already has a number of "catchphrase infringement" lawsuits filed against me. I would prefer not to add appearance infringement to the list as well.
